| Movie |
Maid to Order |
| Year |
1987 |
 |
Jessie Montgomery:
I did not spend six years in junior college to be a maid.
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Stella Winston:
You're a spoiled, silly, boring, insignificant little twit.
Jessie Montgomery:
Hey! Who are you calling boring?
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Jessie Montgomery:
Please let me take it in Maria. Please!
Maria:
She told me to take it in.
Jessie Montgomery:
Well what difference does it make?
Maria:
The difference is if you screw up, then my***is grass and she's the lawnmower!
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[Jessie brings Stan his laundry]
Stan Starkey:
What the... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY WRINKLED SUIT?
Jessie Montgomery:
I just pressed it for you.
Stan Starkey:
I know, but you're not supposed to press this! This is SUPPOSED to be wrinkled; I BOUGHT it like this! It's a Georgio Armani WRINKLED suit! Wrinkles are IN! We're in the 80's, kiddo; wake up! I can't believe this! My Georgio Armani, my favorite suit, PRESSED!
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Jessie Montgomery:
[after being arrested for driving under the influence AND with a suspended license, AND trying to bribe the cops who took her in, Jessie is sharing a cell with a Hooker who's loudly filing her nails] ... Would you mind not doing that? I'm bummed and I have a headache.
Hooker in Jail:
Oh, yeah? What are you in for, anyway?
Jessie Montgomery:
I don't remember. God, when the media gets a hold of this... my poor father...
Hooker in Jail:
HOW about your father?
Jessie Montgomery:
Oh, he's a big philanthropist.
Hooker in Jail:
You mean he's cheating on your mama? With how many women?
Jessie Montgomery:
No, no... Not a PHILANDERER, a PHILANTHROPIST. You know, somebody who gives lots of dough to help out with... Never mind. So what are YOU in for?
Hooker in Jail:
[sarcastic] ... Jaywalking.
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Stella Winston:
[Jessie meets Stella for the first time, as the latter bails her out from the police station] ... You're getting out. The charges have been dropped.
Jessie Montgomery:
Great! Did Daddy grease a few palms or what?
Stella Winston:
Not exactly... I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?
Jessie Montgomery:
After a night like this one? I need all the good news I can get.
Stella Winston:
The good news is, you have no criminal record; as far as you're concerned, last night didn't happen. The bad news is, neither did anything else BEFORE last night. As far as you're concerned.
Jessie Montgomery:
[Jessie inspects her purse, which has just been returned to her] ... Hey, where's my money! And where are my credit cards!
Stella Winston:
That's just it: you have no credit. Because you have no MONEY. Because you have no PAST. You have no family, no home, no friends, nothing. You're On Your Own.
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