| Movie |
The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns (TV) |
| Year |
1999 |
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Sean Devine:
Work is the death of freedom as we know it.
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Jack Woods:
You're - you're...
Seamus Muldoon:
A Leprechaun. Wet Leprechaun. Leader of the Kerry Leprechauns. Seamus Maldoon, at your wet service.
Mary Muldoon:
[invisible] What in the Grand Banshee's name do you think you're doing?
Seamus Muldoon:
What's it look like; I'm talking to the man.
Mary Muldoon:
Are you mad, as well as stupid?
Seamus Muldoon:
I have to! He saved me!
Mary Muldoon:
He *saved* you?
Seamus Muldoon:
Gallantly, I have to say. And not at all for himself.
[Jack stumbles outside]
Mary Muldoon:
[appears inside] You were drunk!
Seamus Muldoon:
Of *course* I was drunk... I hate water!
Jack Woods:
[cut to outside] Just calm down, Jack. Get - a grip. It's just jetlag.
Mary Muldoon:
[cut to inside] And you *let* him save you?
Seamus Muldoon:
I didn't ask him, Mary, he just did it!
Mary Muldoon:
That's no excuse! You could have had the decency to drown!
Jack Woods:
[outside] ... hangover... bump on the head... You're fine.
Mary Muldoon:
I'm Mary Maldoon...
Jack Woods:
Oh, give me a break!
[turns, sees Leprechauns]
Mary Muldoon:
...Seamus' wife for my sins. Of which there must have been hundreds to have such a terrible fate!
Seamus Muldoon:
They say that married men live longer than single ones. It only *seems* like that.
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Sean Devine:
[He is dying, dispappearing up to his waist] Look - I'm only half the man I was!
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Seamus Muldoon:
[glancing at Jack's photo of Kathleen] Ah, isn't she a magnificent woman?
Mary Muldoon:
She's pretty enough - in an ugly, human kind of a way. They'd make a fine couple.
[they laugh]
Jack Woods:
OK, OK, *thank* you!
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Jericho O'Grady:
[the Leprechauns are trapped by the palace balcony, persued by Fairies] What do we do now?
Sean Devine:
[sarcastically] Try to remember how to fly.
[turns, sees Mickey floating in mid-air]
Sean Devine:
Mickey!
Mickey Muldoon:
I... I dunno how I'm doing it.
Sean Devine:
I hate to be the one to tell you this, Mickey-lad, but you're in love.
Mickey Muldoon:
[vaguely] Really?
Sean Devine:
Well, that's the sign.
Mickey Muldoon:
Is that a fact?
Sean Devine:
[the Fairies are approaching] Grab him before he comes to his senses!
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Mickey Muldoon:
[dreamily] I met this girl... Princess Jessica.
Seamus Muldoon:
Princess Jessica - King Boric's daughter!
Mickey Muldoon:
Oh, she's an angel, with the face!
Seamus Muldoon:
Oh, no, no, no, no, no - listen - You leave her be! I don't want that sort of trouble! Mary Maldoon, this is your fault! Jack - will you tell him to listen to his father?
Jack Woods:
Why? I never did.
Seamus Muldoon:
Neither did I; that's not point!
Mary Muldoon:
So he's told you, has he? You're his father, speak to him!
Seamus Muldoon:
Mickey Maldoon, you listen to me: You stay away from that girl, or I'll disown you!
Mickey Muldoon:
How can you disown me; you don't own anything.
Mary Muldoon:
Don't speak to your father like that!
Mickey Muldoon:
What, you do!
Jack Woods:
That's expected - I'm his wife! And don't speak to *me* like that!
Seamus Muldoon:
Yes, don't speak to her like that!
Mickey Muldoon:
Well, who'm I expected to speak to like that, then?
Seamus Muldoon:
Now you're speaking to me like that.
Mickey Muldoon:
But she started speaking to *me* like that...
[fade]
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Bert Bagnell:
The race will be one circle to the track, to that there flag! And try not to cheat too much!
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Jack Woods:
[Seamus and Mickey appear in his buggy while he's racing] What're you doing here?
Seamus Muldoon:
We thought you might like a hand.
Mickey Muldoon:
Oh, don't worry, Mr. Woods, the old Leprechaun magic'll do the tirck.
Jack Woods:
Great! Tell me what to do!
[beat]
Seamus Muldoon:
Get closer to the others!
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Jack Woods:
Got a father who runs a cab company, got a mother who runs my father.
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Queen Morag:
Don't be such a drama Fairy, Chamberlain.
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Jack Woods:
I'm sorry, Kathleen, but I'm leaving on the evening train.
Kathleen Fitzpatrick:
This evening?
George Fitzpatrck:
Good riddance.
Kathleen Fitzpatrick:
George?... Could you go, please?
John Fitzpatrick:
You going somewhere, George; can I go with you?
George Fitzpatrck:
Not me, him.
John Fitzpatrick:
I don't wanna go with him.
George Fitzpatrck:
No one asked you!
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Bert Bagnell:
[immediately after Jack hits his head on a rafter] Mind the beam.
Jack Woods:
Oh, boy, this house was built for little people.
Bert Bagnell:
Uh, no, it's not! Not at all!
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Mary Muldoon:
[to Jack] You're soaking wet. I'll get you a towel.
Seamus Muldoon:
Hey, what about me?
Mary Muldoon:
*You* can get pneumonia!
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Mary Muldoon:
Where are you going?
Mickey Muldoon:
Oh, just to do some mischief.
Mary Muldoon:
That's all right, then.
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Sean Devine:
I was looking out for Count Grogan.
Barney Devine:
May his Fairy bones rot!
Sean Devine:
I thought I could drop on him all quiet-like, you know, for a little flattering.
Barney Devine:
I'll flatter him, quiet or not!
Sean Devine:
Your brother talks a good fight, Jericho.
Jericho O'Grady:
If *talking* was all it took, he'd be Heavyweight Champion of all Ireland!
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Seamus Muldoon:
That's a very energetic way of doing the weeding, Jack.
Jack Woods:
Seamus. I'm not gardening, I'm practicing my swing.
Seamus Muldoon:
Your swing?
Jack Woods:
Yeah. Yeah, my golf swing. You know, this whole area, this'd make a perfect golf course, don't you think?
Seamus Muldoon:
No doubt, no doubt about it... I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about.
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[Micky kisses Princess Jessica]
Princess Jessica:
[gasps] How dare you?
Mickey Muldoon:
Oh, I dare, Princess Jessica; I dare!
Princess Jessica:
Come back here at once, and apologize!
Mickey Muldoon:
Oh, you must be joking? Well, you'll have to catch me first! And no flying!
Princess Jessica:
You think a Princess can't run?
Mickey Muldoon:
[long pause] NO!
[she chases him up the stairs]
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[Mickey cuts in on a dance between Princess Jessica and another fairy]
Princess Jessica:
Hello!
[pause]
Princess Jessica:
And what are you staring at?
Mickey Muldoon:
The fairest beauty that ever stood before the eyes of a man since Helen danced her willing way on the wondering walls of Troy!
Princess Jessica:
It's only a gift of words that you shower me, but I have to say that they shine!
Mickey Muldoon:
Oh you shine, Princess Mine, you shine!
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[of the berries on a bush]
Jack Woods:
Are these things clean?
Kathleen Fitzpatrick:
Yeah, oh yeah, they're clean.
[pause]
Kathleen Fitzpatrick:
Poisonious, but clean.
Jack Woods:
That's very funny, I'm just not used to eating anything without an experation date.
Kathleen Fitzpatrick:
Oh, go on Jack! Why don't you take a walk on the wild side!
Jack Woods:
[throws a berry up in the air and catches it with his mouth, making Kathleen laugh] Those are good!
Kathleen Fitzpatrick:
Yeah...
Jack Woods:
Those are really good. It's better than in the store.
[shoves more berries in his mouth]
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Mickey Muldoon:
Come away with me.
Princess Jessica:
I can't!
Mickey Muldoon:
We can do anything!
[they kiss]
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Jericho O'Grady:
[sees his brother bound by a pair of Fairies outside the bar he was gaurding] Aw, Barney!
Barney O'Grady:
Don't worry, lads. I've got them where I want them.
Count Grogan:
[flies in] Ah, Maldoon. What a coincidence finding you here.
Mickey Muldoon:
I don't want any trouble, Grogan. Let Barney go.
Count Grogan:
You might not *want* trouble, but that's what you've got.
[Mickey flips over him but he follows suit to stand in front of him again]
Count Grogan:
You don't get away that easy.
Mickey Muldoon:
I'm not fighting.
Count Grogan:
Oh, you'll fight. Or your young friend here has done his last spell of gaurding.
Sean Devine:
Is that a fact? Well, I'm happy to oblige you.
Jericho O'Grady:
And so am I.
Count Grogan:
My fight is with Maldoon here.
Sean Devine:
Ah, well. As much as it grieves me to watch another Leprechaun have all the fun.
[handing him a spear]
Sean Devine:
Go for it, Mickey me boy. Little Maurice here is begging for it.
Count Grogan:
DON'T call me Maurice!
Sean Devine:
Oh, well then, I won't. Maurice.
Jericho O'Grady:
[laughing] And niether will I - Maurice!
Barney O'Grady:
Maurice, Maurice, Maurice!
Sean Devine:
Give him a taste of Leprechaun justice, Mickey me lad.
Mickey Muldoon:
I'm not fighting, Seanie.
[to Grogan]
Mickey Muldoon:
Let him go.
[he tries to walk off but Sean stops him]
Sean Devine:
That girl has unmanned you.
Count Grogan:
He's a yellow-belly. He was coward's legs, like all Leprechauns.
Sean Devine:
That's it. Enough's enough. No more Mr. Nice Leprechaun. Oh, I'll show you coward's legs. *And* arms.
Mickey Muldoon:
Don't do it; it's what he wants!
Sean Devine:
Well, there's the thing. It's what I want, too!
[he draws his spear and Grogan's appears in his hand]
Barney O'Grady:
If you need any help, Sean, I'm right here for ya.
Sean Devine:
Good man.
[they fight]
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