| Movie |
L.I.E. |
| Year |
2001 |
 |
Howie:
On the Long Island Expressway there are lanes going east, lanes going west, and lanes going straight to hell.
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Gary:
I don't have a father. I have an ***.
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Howie's friend:
Howie, if you do stuff with guys, that's gay stuff. If you do stuff with girls, that's straight stuff.
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Gary:
I think he's trying to say it's not politically correct to *** your sister.
Kevin Cole:
We're not even old enough to *vote*, so that's a stupid joke Blitzer.
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[Laying on the ground as a woman passes by]
Kevin Cole:
Her dress is so short, you can see her clint.
Brian:
What?
Kevin Cole:
Her clint, it's in her ***.
Howie:
You mean "clit."
Kevin Cole:
*** you, I mean like... clintasaurus.
Howie:
It's clitoris, you ***in' idiot.
Kevin Cole:
It's a CLINT.
Brian:
Yeah, like you can see Clint Eastwood in her ***.
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[Flipping through a magazine]
Kevin Cole:
Hey-hey, it's Captain Kirk. Ever see that old Star Trek show where there's a bad Captain Kirk and a good one? And Spock, and Dr. Phones...
Brian:
You mean "Bones"?
Kevin Cole:
What? It's Phones McCoy.
Brian:
"Bones" is a nickname for doctor, idiot.
Kevin Cole:
No, it's like get the doctor on the phone, like house calls.
Brian:
It's BONES.
Kevin Cole:
It's Phones.
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Counselor:
Just so you know, I know you're different, okay.
Howie:
Different ?
Counselor:
You're not a nerd, you're not a jock, you're not a scholar or a romeo.
Howie:
Or a gangsta.
Counselor:
Or a clown.
Howie:
So what am I then ?
Counselor:
You are a Howie Blitzer.
Howie:
My own category, wow.
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Big John:
And if I was a spy, what would you think of me then ?
Howie:
Well, I'd think that you are just like James Bond except James Bond doesn't go around blowing boys.
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Gary:
I don't like that kid. He smiles too much.
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Big John Harrigan:
[on women] They're professional ball busters, and you know it.
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Big John Harrigan:
[Talking with Howie about Gary] You must be the only guy on Long Island who hasn't ***ed him. Such a slut. The only thing that hasn't been used on him is his brain.
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