| Movie |
Jackass Number Two |
| Year |
2006 |
 |
Johnny Knoxville:
Rectal bleeding... another first for Jackass.
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Chris Pontius:
I can't believe I'm fishing with Steve-o as my bait!
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Johnny Knoxville:
It's gonna hurt a lot, but it's just loud.
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April Margera:
Why would you burn him in the first place, Dunn?
Ryan Dunn:
'Cause it was funny...
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Chris Pontius:
I'm so glad I'm not the star of this movie.
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Johnny Knoxville:
If your *** can't see the camera, the camera can't see your ***
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Johnny Knoxville:
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and I'm going to the moon!
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Johnny Knoxville:
[first lines] Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!"
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Bam Margera:
Please God, don't let there be a "Jackass 3".
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Dave England:
Oh God! Oh... Oh... Oh God!... my***hurts so ***ing bad!
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Chris Pontius:
[after drinking horse semen] I'm ashamed of myself. I really am. I'm completely ashamed of myself.
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Chris Pontius:
[after drinking the horse semen] I'm completely ashamed of myself.
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Ryan Dunn:
[after Johnny Knoxville falls head first off the penny farthing bicycle] You didn't land it.
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April Margera:
Oh my god, you had the cutest butt ever, why did you have to go around and ruin it?
Bam Margera:
I didn't,***Farm Dunn did.
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Wee Man:
There's a machine in here! Where's the ***ing card throwing machine?
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Johnny Knoxville:
[Johnny Knoxville hands his fake grandson a flask] Don't hog it all you little prick...
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Steve-O:
All right cast me out, goddammit!
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[Bam has just been branded with a penis-shaped branding iron]
Bam Margera:
You gave me a hologram*** There's three solid dicks, there's one half-assed one right here, and then you gave me a set of balls.
Johnny Knoxville:
But a sweet set of balls!
Bam Margera:
Rad... I'd rather rip my***off and throw it in the river than to do that again. Goddamn!
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Johnny Knoxville:
[while Bam is in trailor with Cobra] You crying?
Bam Margera:
Yeah.
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Ehren McGhehey:
[while in the trunk of a taxi cab] Get me out of here!
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Steve-O:
[chuckling] You just pleasured a horse.
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Ryan Dunn:
Ooh my hip! I think I just gave birth!
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Johnny Knoxville:
Ok, who brought crabs to the party? Ha ha. One of the guys had crabs!
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Ehren McGhehey:
Where I'm going, I don't need luggage
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Jay Chandrasekhar:
C'mon!
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Chris Pontius:
[after Matt Hoffman attempts to jump the English Channal on his bike] He didnt even make it to Germany!
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Johnny Knoxville:
That long hair don't cover up your red neck.
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Steve-O:
Dude, Wee Man, I would never use a card throwing machine on you!
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Johnny Knoxville:
[after taking a fall] My head stopped my body from getting really hurt on that.
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Wee Man:
What are thinking about, Preston?
Preston Lacy:
I wish all of that water was gravy and all those cars were giant biscuits.
Wee Man:
[laughing] Are you hungry?
Preston Lacy:
I was just saying...
Wee Man:
Oh, all right!
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Chris Pontius:
Water-based lubricants, friend or foe? You be the judge.
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Johnny Knoxville:
[after getting shot by riot explosive] Is this ok?
[points to face]
Johnny Knoxville:
Then we're good.
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Ryan Dunn:
[Johnny Knoxville is about to be launched with the rocket] This isn’t the best idea.
Bam Margera:
Yes it is...
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Dimitry Elyashkevich:
[Johnny Knoxville is ready to be launced on the rocket] 5... 4... 3... 2... 1!
Bam Margera:
Later!
[Presses the launch button]
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Chris Pontius:
Hey Ehren, maybe after this movie you'll finally lose your virginity.
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Chris Pontius:
[after completing Medicine Ball Dodgeball] That was fun. Let's never do that again.
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Bam Margera:
Here we are at some random***ranch and this is the Brand. And it's gonna suck!
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April Margera:
[after seeing the brand on Bam's***/i>] You're going to have that for life!
Bam Margera:
No***
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Bam Margera:
[before the Riot Control skit] If Knoxville goes in there, I'll French kiss him.
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Steve-O:
I just had a leech chomp my eyeball. YES!
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Johnny Knoxville:
[while gagging after Pontius drinks the horse semen] I never puke ever, and I really almost puked then.
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Phil Margera:
[after seeing Bam's brand] He should have made it bigger and more realistic, that puny thing's embarrassing!
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Ryan Dunn:
[after the riot control test] Son of a... *** you!
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Bam Margera:
[after getting shot by riot explosive] I'm crying. I'm a ***ing skateboarder and I'm getting shot.
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Ryan Dunn:
[Riding Oldskool BMX] Why would anybody ride this*** What's the reasoning? Why can't they just make two of the same size wheel?
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Wee Man:
What? I can't hear... kinda.
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Steve-O:
I'm Steve-O, and sorry Dad, but no one's gonna miss this for the world. This is the Butt Chug.
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Bam Margera:
[after the Yak Charge] That couldn't have gone any better. I didn't know Knoxville could do back flips.
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Chris Pontius:
[after Wee Man and Preston go bungee jumping off the bridge] That was intense, really intense. Well, not really intense, but pretty intense.
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Dave England:
[after going downhill in the Big Tire Race] Oh I hate that, I hate it so bad! ***in' sucky!
Ryan Dunn:
Why do you hate it?
Dave England:
The bouncing on my ***in' head!
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Dave England:
[gets knocked out by a large airbag] Ah... ***in'***.. what was that*** It's ***in' in my eyes...
Johnny Knoxville:
Oh! Oooo!
Dave England:
Uh... what the *** was that?
Johnny Knoxville:
Oh my...
Dave England:
I ***in' don't understand... what the *** did you do to me? WHAT THE *** WAS THAT?
Johnny Knoxville:
Uh... are you...
Dave England:
You're ***in' me up man!
Johnny Knoxville:
Let's go inside man!
Dave England:
Oh *** DUDE... I... that was ***in' CRAZY!
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Dave England:
[while chewing on horse***/i>] It's so dry!
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