| Movie |
Hairspray |
| Year |
1988 |
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Prudence:
Penny Pingleton, you know you are punished. From now on your wearing a giant P on your blouse EVERY DAY to school so that the whole world knows that Penny Pingleton is permanently, positively, punished.
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Beatnik Chick:
When I'm high, I AM Odetta. Let's get naked and smoke.
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Motormouth Maybelle:
Oh Papa Tooney. We've got a Looney.
Prudence Pingleton:
Don't you try to cast one of your voodoo spells on me, native woman.
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Geometry Teacher:
Tracy Turnblad, once again your ratted hair is preventing another student's geometry education.
Tracy Turnblad:
It's feathered, not ratted.
Geometry Teacher:
Whatever you call it, it's a hair-don't.
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Tracy Turnblad:
I'm an integrationist. We shall overcome someday.
Beatnik Chick:
Not with that hair, you won't.
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Tracy Turnblad:
How do you get your hair so straight and so flat?
Beatnik Chick:
With an iron, man. I play my bongos, listen to Odetta, and then I iron my hair, dig?
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Wilbur:
Tracy, we all have responsibilities in life. You may think owning the Hardy-Har joke shop is all drudgery; unwrapping dribble glasses, checking doggy doo, but I wuv it.
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Amber Von Tussle:
Aren't you a little fat for the show?
Tracy Turnblad:
I'm sure many of the other home viewers out there are pleasantly plump or chunky.
Amber Von Tussle:
Come on. The show's not filmed in Cinemascope.
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Edna Turnblad:
Could you turn that racket down, I'm trying to iron in here.
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Amber Von Tussle:
Tracy Turnblad is a human roach nest.
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Velma Von Tussle:
Hey you. Can I ask you a personal question?
Edna Turnblad:
No, you may not...
Velma Von Tussle:
Is your daughter mulatto?
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Edna Turnblad:
It's the times. They are a-changin'. Something's blowing in the wind. Fetch me my diet pills, would you?
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Tracy Turnblad:
Momma, welcome to the sixties.
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Tracy Turnblad:
Mom. You're so fifties.
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Edna Turnblad:
Look at your hair. All ratted up like a teenage Jezebel.
Penny Pingleton:
But Miss Edna. Tracy's "flamboyant flip" is all the rage. Even Mrs. Kennedy, our First Lady, rats her hair.
Edna Turnblad:
But Tracy's no First Lady is she? No siree. She is a... hairhopper.
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Velma Van Tussle:
At least try to act white on television.
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Penny Pingleton:
I wish I was at a hootenanny in Harlem.
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Motormouth Maybelle:
Tidley papa, I am a whopper... Motormouth Maybelle's my name and sweetheart, dancin' is my game.
[Applause]
Motormouth Maybelle:
Motormouth, Motormouth, Motormouth!
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Velma Von Tussle:
Relax. Take it easy. Tension is the worst thing for a complexion.
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Iggy:
Would you swim in an integrated swimming pool?
Tracy Turnblad:
I sure would, Iggy. I'm a modern kind of girl, I'm all for integration.
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Amber Van Tussle:
Do you relate to the music of Leslie Gore?
Nadine:
Look, she ain't no James Brown... but I can dance to Lawrence Welk if I have to.
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L'il Inez:
Segregation never, integration now.
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Penny Pingleton:
I'm just a little nervous.
Tammy:
This is show business young lady. If you're nervous now, Hah. Wait 'til you're on the air.
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Mr. Pinky:
Fatty, fatty, two-by-four. Can't get through the dressing room door?
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Amber Von Tussle:
That girl's got roaches in her hair!
Edna Turnblad:
Roaches? Our little Tracy's a clean teen!
Wilbur:
There's no bugs on our baby!
Amber Von Tussle:
I'm not kidding, I just saw one!
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Gym Teacher:
Special Ed! In the red!
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Tammy:
Please wait outside. The council will now meet in secret, debate your personality flaws, and come to a final decision.
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Tracy Turnblad:
Oh, Link, I wish I had dark skin.
Link Larkin:
Tracy, our souls are black, though our skin is white.
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Velma Von Tussle:
And you HAD to pick a colored song, didn't you? What's wrong with Connie Francis? Shelley Fabares? I LOVE Shelley Fabares!
Amber Von Tussle:
Mother, Shake a Tale Feather has a wild song. It's got a good beat and you can dance to it.
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Amber Von Tussle:
[Amber is gossiping with two friends in school] Anyway, she was right there in the car, in plain sight of just everybody at the hop. She was NUDE.
Amber's school friend #1:
No!
Amber's school friend #2:
That fat thing?
Amber Von Tussle:
Tracy Turnblad is a WHORE.
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Prudence Pingleton:
[Seaweed is hiding in Penny's bedroom] Oh my God! There's colored people in my house! I'm going to make a citizen's arrest!
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Tracy Turnblad:
POLICE BRUTALITYYY! POLICE BRUTALITYYYYYY!
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Edna Turnblad:
Our little Tracy's too busy ratting her hair and doing the "Ubangi Stomp."
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Edna Turnblad:
[about Amber] I watch that tramp and I'm embarrassed to be white.
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Motormouth Maybelle:
[watching Edna walk in] If any more white people come in, this place’ll be a suburb.
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Penny Pingleton:
[opening door to a strange room] I'm not really sure why we have this room. There's lots of food, water, gas masks, and a lot of Russian language books.
Tracy Turnblad:
It’s very well insulated.
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Seaweed:
Why are you all tied up?
Penny Pingleton:
My mother caught me hiding a fugitive without her permission.
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Wilbur Turnblad:
[to a sobbing Edna] Honey, it took me five years to realize you were flirting!
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Motormouth Maybelle:
Well, looks like y'all took a step outta bounds.
[to Seaweed]
Motormouth Maybelle:
Who've we got here?
Seaweed:
Mom, I want you to meet my new friends. This here is Link, Tracy Turnblad...
Tracy Turnblad:
[interrupts] This is just so afro-tastic!
Seaweed:
And this young lady right here, is Penny Pingleton.
Penny Pingleton:
I'm very pleased and scared to be here.
Motormouth Maybelle:
Now, honey, we got more reason to be scared on your street.
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Edna Turnblad:
Imagine! My little girl. Regular. At last.
Corny Collins:
Baby, you look like you could use a stiff one.
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Link Larkin:
I was at home practicing my twist on The Twist when I overheard it on the TV. I can't believe Tracy bludgeoned that Eagle Scout. It's just not like her.
Edna Turnblad:
But it's not true! He didn't even bleed. I was there.
Link Larkin:
I shoulda been there. By her side. I'm so worried. I can't sleep. I can't eat ...
Edna Turnblad:
You can't eat? Well come in and worry with us.
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Amber von Tussel:
[on the phone with Edna, disguising her voice] My name is Mike.
Edna Turnblad:
[off-camera] Mike?
Amber von Tussel:
Yes, Mike.
Edna Turnblad:
Mike who?
Amber von Tussel:
[slips back into her normal voice] It's MIKE!
[catches herself, coughs]
Amber von Tussel:
Anyway... I'm calling because I have some information about your daughter's whereabouts.
Edna Turnblad:
What?
Amber von Tussel:
Right now, as we speak, your daughter has entered a hotbed of moral... turpentine.
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Tracy Turnblad:
I'm a bad, bad girl who needs to be punished.
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Edna Turnblad:
[singing] You can't stop my happiness, 'cuz I like the way I am. And you just can't stop my knife and fork when I see a Christmas ham! And if you don't like the way I look, then I just don't give a damn!
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Penny Pingleton:
Well, I think they secretly liked you.
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Penny Pingleton:
[looks into the camera] I am now a checkerboard chick!
[grabs Seaweed and kisses him passionately]
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Edna Turnblad:
Would you keep that racket down? I'm trying to iron, here!
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Tracy Turnblad:
I wish every day were Negro Day.
Seaweed:
At our house it is.
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Seaweed:
My Mom's having a platter party. You-all wanna come check it out?
Penny Pingleton:
Wow! Being invited places by colored people!
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Tracy Turnblad:
I think I've kind of been in a bubble... thinking that fairness was gonna just happen. It's not. People like me are gonna have to get up... and go out and fight for it.
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Wilbur Turnblad:
[to Tracy] This is America, you gotta think big to be big.
Edna Turnblad:
Big ain't the problem in this family, Wilbur.
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Edna Turnblad:
Penny, get home before your mother shoots you.
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[from trailer]
Velma Von Tussle:
Amber! Save your personal life for the camera, sweetie! Oh, shiny!
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Motormouth Maybelle:
[to Seaweed and Penny] Oh, so this is love? Well, love is a gift, a lot of people don't remember that. So, you two better brace yourselves for a whole lotta ugly comin' at you from a neverending parade of stupid.
Penny Pingleton:
So, you've met my mom?
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[from trailer]
Link Larkin:
[to Tracy] I think knowing you is the start of a pretty big adventure.
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[from trailer]
Velma Von Tussle:
[to Edna, about Tracy] Tracy certainly has redefined our standards
[chuckles]
Amber von Tussel:
That's for sure.
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Prudy Pingleton:
[about Tracy, who was just on the news] You see? You see! If I let you leave the house right now, you'd be in prison, fighting whores for cigarettes. That Tracy Turnblad always was a bad influence! Well, you are never, ever gonna see that beehived harlot again.
Penny Pingleton:
[sees Tracy in the window, gets up to leave] Okay, mother. Excuse me.
Prudy Pingleton:
Penny!
[offers her a cross necklace]
Prudy Pingleton:
Pray for her. She's gonna need it.
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Velma Von Tussle:
They're just kids, that's why we have to steer them in the white direction.
Corny Collins:
Right direction?
Velma Von Tussle:
What did I say?
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Velma Von Tussle:
'Detroit Noise?' What is that? The cries of people being mugged?
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Penny Pingleton:
Without that show I have nothing!
Prudy Pingleton:
Having nothing builds character!
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Amber von Tussel:
[to Shelley] Do that again, and there'll be stumps where your feet are, you got that? You little who...
Link Larkin:
[interrupting] Hey, Amber
Amber von Tussel:
[to Link] - Oley moley!
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Edna Turnblad:
[catching Tracy at Motormouth Maybelle's Record Shop] No call? Just disappear?
[looks Link up and down]
Edna Turnblad:
And all mashed up against a crooner...
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Tracy Turnblad:
Penny, the cops are looking for me everywhere... you could go to jail for helping me!
Penny Pingleton:
Tracy, I'm already in jail. Come on!
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Penny Pingleton:
Oh, no!
Tracy Turnblad:
What?
Penny Pingleton:
Your hair deflated!
Tracy Turnblad:
Let it. It was just a symbol of my conformity to the man.
Penny Pingleton:
You are so tough.
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Penny Pingleton:
Mom, please don't send my best friend to the big house!
Prudy Pingleton:
[grabs Penny] Penny, hush!
Tracy Turnblad:
You haven't heard the last of me, Mrs. Pingleton! Things need to change, and I won't stop trying to change them. I don't care how long it takes.
Prudy Pingleton:
Good! You'll be waiting twenty to life.
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Prudy Pingleton:
Get the jump rope, Penny.
Penny Pingleton:
[runs out of the room] Mom, not the jump rope!
Prudy Pingleton:
[to Tracy] Don't you touch my canned tuna!
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Prudy Pingleton:
[to Penny] Wait till your father gets out of prison, you'll see more than a jump rope!
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Prudy Pingleton:
[tying Penny to her bed with a jump rope] Penny Lou Pingleton, you are absolutely, positively, permanently punished. You will live on a diet of saltines and tang, and you will never leave this room again.
[tosses holy water on Penny]
Prudy Pingleton:
Devil child, devil child!
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Penny Pingleton:
Seaweed? Shhh, don't let her hear you!
Seaweed:
What happened to you?
Penny Pingleton:
She's punishing me for harboring a fugitive without her permission. What are you doing?
Seaweed:
I'm here to rescue the fair maiden, baby.
Penny Pingleton:
Oh, Seaweed, you do care! I was afraid the colors of our skin would keep us apart.
Seaweed:
No... but these knots might.
[still trying to untie her]
Seaweed:
Was your mom in the Navy?
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Seaweed:
Livin' in the ghetto, black is everywhere you go. Who'd have thought I'd love a girl whose skin was white as winter snow?
Penny Pingleton:
In my ivory tower, life was just a Hostess snack, but now I've tasted chocolate, and I'm never goin' back!
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[from trailer]
Motormouth Maybelle:
[after demonstrating a dance] That's the way you do it!
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Link Larkin, Tracy Turnblad, Penny Pingleton, Seaweed:
[ending the song "Without Love"] Darlin' you had best believe me, never leave me without love!
Edna Turnblad:
[called from off camera] Link, your pork is ready!
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Mr. Spritzer:
[about Tracy] I want that chubby Communist girl off my show!
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[singing]
Tammy:
Are you scared we're on live?
Tracy Turnblad:
No, I'm sure I can cope.
Amber Von Tussle:
Well, this show isn't broadacst in...
Tammy, Amber Von Tussle, Shelley, Noreen, Doreen, Vicki, Darla, Brenda:
[with the other coucil girls] Cinemascope!
Velma Von Tussle:
I never drank one chocolate malt. No desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs.
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Corny Collins:
Tell me, Velma, how exactly do you fire Corny Collins from the Corny Collins show?
Velma Von Tussle:
They do it all the time on "Lassie"!
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Corny Collins:
Some news! One of our beautiful young dancers, Brenda, will be taking a momentary leave of absence from the show! How long you gonna be gone, Brenda?
Brenda:
[smiling nervously] Just nine months.
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Edna Turnblad:
Come on, Wilbur, first the hair and now this?
Tracy Turnblad:
It's the style, mom, everyone's doing it! Even our First Lady, Jackie O does it!
Edna Turnblad:
No she doesn't.
Tracy Turnblad:
How do you think it gets like that?
Edna Turnblad:
I like to think it's... naturally stiff.
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Police Chief:
I doubt she'll risk jail to win some beauty pageant.
Velma Von Tussle:
I risked communicable diseases. She'll risk jail.
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Penny Pingleton:
[about Amber] Plastic little spastic.
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Link Larkin:
[bumping into Tracy] Sorry little darlin. Hope I didn't dent your 'do.
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Edna Turnblad:
Tracy, eat your doughnuts.
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Amber von Tussel:
[to her classmates] Oh, and it's totally not true about her and the entire football team. I mean, please: anybody can get grass stains all over their back.
Link Larkin:
Amber, stop it. I'm sick of you doing that! Just because she's a good dancer...
Amber von Tussel:
[scoffs] Uh, I'm sorry... you think that she can dance? Well, maybe you'd rather have her as your partner. You could get sponsored by Goodyear!
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[from trailer]
Mr. Pinky:
[guessing Edna's sizes] 54-Double D?
Edna Turnblad:
Triple E
[chuckles]
Mr. Pinky:
[shouts] I hit the motherload!
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[from trailer]
Penny Pingleton:
[to Tracy, at the dance] Get out there and show them!
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[from trailer]
Corny Collins:
[to Velma] You can fight it or you can rock out to it.
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[from trailer]
Motormouth Maybelle:
[to Edna] Are you sure you wouldn't like to have a little something to eat?
Edna Turnblad:
[looks at pot roast] Is that braised?
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Corny Collins:
That is the newest dance this week. Now, let's meet our brand new Council member, Miss Tracy Turnblad! Tracy, why don't you cozy up to old Corny and tell us about yourself.
Tracy Turnblad:
Well, I watch "The Corny Collins Show" and I do absolutely nothing else.
Corny Collins:
Ohhh!
Edna Turnblad:
[at home] And to think I almost thumped Tracy from reaching for the stars.
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Edna Turnblad:
No one is auditioning for anything in this house!
Tracy Turnblad:
But why not? Why not?
Edna Turnblad:
Dancing is not your future. One day, you're going to own Edna's Occidental Laundry.
Tracy Turnblad:
I don't want to be a laundress. I want to be famous.
Edna Turnblad:
If you want to be famous, learn how to take blood out of car upholstery. That's a move you can take right to the bank.
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Teacher:
[after Tracy has been sent to detention by Amber] Mr. Larkin, can you tell me the explorer's famous last words?
Link Larkin:
Kiss my***
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