| Movie |
Date Movie |
| Year |
2006 |
 |
Nicky:
Just thinking about the honeymoon makes me all tingly and everything. Like a lot.
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Frank Jones:
Put some hummus on it
|
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Galdalf:
[Gandlaf is hit in the crotch] My precious!
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Julia Jones:
You had me at hello.
Grant Funkyerdoder:
I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a boy. Asking him to love her.
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Frank Jones:
I was wrong about Grant. He's really a nice guy. He even liked you when you were butt-ugly.
Julia Jones:
How do you...?
Frank Jones:
I saw it in your flashback.
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Andy:
Grant told me you were pretty, but he didn't mention that you were flat-chested. How cute.
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Andy:
[to Grant] Choose me. Marry me!
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Grant Funkyerdoder:
[voice-over reading his message to Julia] If you still love me the way I love you, meet me where Meg Ryan met Tom Hanks.
Julia Jones:
On the internet?
Grant Funkyerdoder:
[still in voice-over] No, not in "You've Got Mail," in "Sleepless in Seattle."
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Frank Jones:
When I first got married to your mother, we barely knew each other. Could barely even speak the English language.
Julia Jones:
But you're from Jersey...
Frank Jones:
I'm trying to make a point here.
|
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Andy:
I'll give you two grand if I can *** you in the***
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Grant Funkyerdoder:
[faking an orgasm] OH, yeah. Oh yeah that's it! Yes! Yes, yes, yes. Y-y-y-y-yes! Whew... yes.
Waitress:
So you're saying you want the porkchops?
Julia Jones:
I'll have what he's having.
|
|
Michael Jackson Look-A-Like:
C'mon! It's just a little Jesus juice!
|
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Napoleon:
Idiot! Hell no I won't marry you! What would you do if you were in a situation like this? Gosh! Gosh! Gosh! Gosh!
|
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Julia Jones:
[after***with Grant] Thant was... Amazing!
Old Woman:
[Old woman in window appears] It sure was...
[she starts caressing her body]
Old Woman:
Oh... OHHH... OHHHHHHH... She faked it Grant
[Grant looks at Julia, Old woman whispers;]
Old Woman:
But I didn't... Meow... Meow... Purrrrrrr... Purrrrrr
|
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Julia Jones:
Well, we want a traditional wedding. Something simple yet elegent.
Jell-O:
Yo! I know exactly the place. Muy romantico!
[Holds up a picture of a Taco Bell]
Jell-O:
Taco Butt. Think outside my buns.
Julia Jones:
It's not quite what we had in mind.
|
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Linda Jones:
So Grant ever knock any one up?
Julia Jones:
Mom!
Linda Jones:
What? I want many grandchildren and how do I know if he's shooting blanks or not
|
|
[Grant walks in with Jinxers on the toilet]
Grant Funkyerdoder:
Oh Sorry
Frank Jones:
I taught him how to do that
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Roz Fockyerdoder:
[gives Julia the present after the wedding] It's a vaginal thermometer. It's been in our family for generations.
Linda Jones:
It lets you know when your ovulating.
Roz Fockyerdoder:
And if you wanna keep it a lucky one, don't ever wash it.
|
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Linda Jones:
So... Is it Harry?
Bernie Fockyerdoder:
Is what hairy?
Linda Jones:
Your name...
Bernie Fockyerdoder:
No, actually it's Bernie.
Roz Fockyerdoder:
Oh, but it is hairy...
[picks up carrot]
Roz Fockyerdoder:
I mean picture this with 4 pounds of hair.
|
|
Frank Jones:
So, Grant, how do you pronounce your last name?
Grant Funkyerdoder:
Exactly how it's spelled. F-O-C-K-Y-E-R-D-O-D-E-R.
[pause]
Frank Jones:
Fockyerdoder?
|
|
[Julia desperately needs a makeover]
Julia Jones:
I heard you were the best.
Hitch:
You're goddamn right I'm the best! Look at all the couples I'm responsible for. You got Brad and Jen, Jessica and Nick, Ben and Jen, Ben and Jen, Ben and Matt, Kobe and Shaq, Ellen and Anne. Yeah, I do them too.
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|
Julia Jones:
How will I ever measure up to that?
[hands Hitch a sexy photo of Andy]
Hitch:
You can't. She's fine as hell! I would tear that***up!
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Biker:
I love puerto rican men, they're spicy!
|
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[Grant is serenading Julia with a boombox]
Angry Neighbor:
Get an iPod!
|
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Julia Jones:
Why is she in slow motion?
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