| Movie |
The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys |
| Year |
2002 |
 |
Francis Doyle:
That's all?
Newsie:
Man, that's enough to melt an elephant.
Tim:
Excuse my friend. He thinks he wants to melt two elephants.
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Sister Assumpta:
Blake. A little advance don't you think?
Tim:
Not really Sister. It's written simply enough for a six year old.
Sister Assumpta:
So are the instructions for a handgun.
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Tim:
I burned all the skin off my hands. I can barely curl my fingers now.
Francis Doyle:
There goes your***life.
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Sister Assumpta:
But make no mistake, the culprits will be fingered. I will finger the culprits.
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Joey Anderson:
It's Major Screw going at it with an evil warrior babe.
Tim:
Going at what?
Joey Anderson:
69.
Wade Scalisi:
That looks more like 47.
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Naturalist:
The head of the sexually aroused adult gobbler can change into a variety of shades of red, white and blue. Yeah, it's a very patriotic bird.
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Newsie:
Hey it's the altar boys. Here to get altered?
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Francis Doyle:
Damnit Sullivan, I don't believe it, we just knocked out a cougar with a K-Mart blow gun!
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Tim:
Alright, seems like the perfect spot for deciding what you really want in life.
Francis Doyle:
My own comic book bigger than anything the Marvel agency has...
Tim:
No, I'm talking about what you really want right now, like revenge on the one legged bitch in black and white!
Francis Doyle:
[yells] Margie Flynn!
Tim:*** I knew it, Margie Flynn.
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Margie Flynn:
I used to let Donny do... things to me.
Francis Doyle:
What kind of things?
Margie Flynn:
Everything.
Francis Doyle:
Wait, Donny who?
[pause]
Francis Doyle:
Donnie, your brother?
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Tim Sullivan:
You've got to aim lower.
[Donny tosses the ball hard into Tim's groin]
Donny Flynn:
That low enough?
Tim Sullivan:
Not as low as ***ing your own sister.
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Tim:
Don't you ever tell me to get real. I know what ***ing real is okay.
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Francis Doyle:
When you look at me, I can hardly breathe.
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Naturalist:
That's a very thoughtful question...
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Tim:
Risk leads to greatness.
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Joey Anderson:
That's not true guys, cus there is a bone in your penis, thats why they call it a boner.
Wade Scalisi:
oh, oh yea you're right... SHUT UP!
[hits Joey]
Joey Anderson:
what was that for?
Wade Scalisi:
You're an idiot.
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Francis Doyle:
Hey Joey, didn't you say something about a wet washcloth?
Joey Anderson:
...Yeah.
Francis Doyle:
I think I found your girlfriend!
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Father Casey:
Jesus H Christ!
Tim:
What does the H stand for Father?
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Tim:
Are you with me here, altar boy?
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Mrs. Doyle:
[Francis is drawing a girl, remarkably resembling Margie] Girlfriend?
Francis Doyle:
I don't have a girlfriend.
Mrs. Doyle:
From the body, I'd guess Farrah Fawcett-Majors. From the face, I'd say that Flynn girl.
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Tim:
Serious trouble beats serious boredom.
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