| Movie |
Up the Chastity Belt |
| Year |
1971 |
 |
[Lurkalot is reciting the final part of the movies opening prologue]
Lurkalot:
And so they made me a serf, a servant. And they named me Lurklalot. Because I do.
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[Lurkalot is warning Lady Ashfordel of the severity of Sir Braggart's intentions towards Lady Lobelia]
Lurkalot:
Besides Sir Braggart will be gross mispleased when he finds out your daughter Lobelia is not Chaste. Well she is. But she falls down a lot. Even now she lies with the woodman.
Lady Asfordel:
That's not true. He merely went up to stoke her fire.
Lurkalot:
Well. That's one way of putting it.
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Knotweed:
[pointing] What's that?
Lurkalot:
That is my latest batch of home made Aphrodisiac.
Knotweed:
Well. What's that?
Lurkalot:
Aphrodisiac? Well it you know. Gets you going.
Knotweed:
Going where?
Lurkalot:
Look. This is for people you see who want to, but they can't. And they take some of this you see, and they can. Like Rattlesnakes.
Knotweed:
Do What?
Lurkalot:
[exasperated] Rattle.
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[Knotweed is clearly impressed with the bold, if camp, Merry Men of Sherwwod Forest]
Knotweed:
Aren't they magnificent. You know Lurkalot I must confess I'm bent on joining them.
Lurkalot:
I've got a feeling you'll have to be.
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Scheherazade:
[performing the film's title song] Give me a modern man who knows how it has to be / Not some old miser who's guarding my chastity / Treating his woman as though she were some kind of chattel / It's unnatural / Give me a born true fighter who'll willingly tilt for me / Not some poor flower who'll suddenly wilt when he's hard / Pressed, right in the thick of the battle / Oh for a knight for my nights! / Oh for a knight for my nights! /
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