| Movie |
Tarzan |
| Year |
1999 |
 |
Young Tarzan:
I'll be the best ape ever!
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Tantor:
That sounded like Tarzan. It sounded like - like he was in trouble.
Terk:
Yeah? Why doesn't he get his new friends to help him? I don't care.
Tantor:
That's it! I've had it with you and your emotional constipation! Tarzan needs us, and we're gonna help him! You got that?
[places Terk on his back]
Tantor:
So pipe down, and hold on tight... we've got a boat to catch.
[Tantor charges off a cliff and into the ocean]
Tantor:
I've never felt so alive!
Terk:
Good, 'cause I'm gonna kill you!
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Tarzan:
No matter where I go, you will always be my mother.
Kala:
And you will always be in my heart.
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Kerchak:
You came back.
Tarzan:
I came home.
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[Jane draws Tarzan on the chalkboard]
Professor Porter:
Shall I, ahem, leave you and the blackboard alone for a moment?
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Professor Porter:
Oh, Janie Jane! What an amazing discovery! A man with no language, no human behavior...
Jane Porter:
And no respect for personal boundaries.
Professor Porter:
How do you mean?
Jane Porter:
[gets extremely close to Professor Porter] He was this close to me, daddy, just staring at me.
[Goes back to blackboard and finishes drawing of Tarzan]
Jane Porter:
He was confused at first, as if he had never seen another human before. His eyes were intense... and focused, and... I've never seen eyes like those before.
Professor Porter:
Oh. Shall I - ahem - leave you and the blackboard alone for a moment?
Jane Porter:
Oh, daddy, stop it.
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Jane Porter:
Oh, Tarzan, you have no idea what's in store for you. You're going to see the world, and all kinds of people will want to meet you. Leaders, scientists, writers.
Professor Porter:
Yes. Darwin, and Kipling. Queen Victoria.
Jane Porter:
I haven't met her, but I hear she's awfuly nice.
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Professor Porter:
Oh, those magnificent creatures, shivering in cages. What is this world coming to?
[He hits his fist on the wall; suddenly the ship shifts to the side, from Tantor getting on board]
Professor Porter:
Oh, by Jove. Don't know my own strength.
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Clayton:
Hiding, are we? Good! I could use a challenge, because after hunting you, gathering up your little ape family will be all too easy!
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Kala:
Close your eyes. Now forget what you see.
Kala:
[puts Tarzan's hand to his chest] What do you feel?
Young Tarzan:
My heart.
Kala:
[puts Tarzan's head by her chest] Come here.
Young Tarzan:
Your heart.
Kala:
See? We're exactly the same.
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Jane Porter:
I was saved! I was saved by a flying wild man in a loincloth.
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Clayton:
Even if you hadn't grown up a savage, you'd be lost. There are no trails through a woman's heart.
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[after being returned to her camp by Tarzan]
Jane Porter:
Daddy, they took my boot!
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[Terk and Tarzan are wrestling]
Tantor:
Whoa! Okay. It's all fun and games till someone loses an eye.
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[Tarzan sneaks up behind her to try and scare her]
Kala:
Don't even think about it.
Tarzan:
How'd you know it was me?
Kala:
I'm your mother. I know everything. Now, where have you been?
Tarzan:
I thought you knew everything.
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Kerchak:
I said he could stay. That doesn't make him my son.
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Terk:
Can you believe that guy? Drops us like a newborn giraffe - kerplop! - then waltzes in and expects us to...
Tarzan:
Terk, I'm asking you as a friend.
[Looks at Terk with big, soulful eyes]
Terk:
Oh, with the face and the eyes... All right! All right! But you'd better not make me do anything stupid.
[Cut to Terk in Jane's dress]
Terk:
I'm going to kill him!
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Clayton:
If I can teach a parrot to sing "God Save the Queen," I can certainly teach this savage a thing or two.
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Young Tantor:
Mom! Are you sure this water's sanitary? It looks questionable to me!
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Terk:
What kind of primitive beasts are responsible for this mess?
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Tantor:
Oh, Terk, I've never seen him so happy.
Terk:
Eh, I give it a week.
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Tarzan:
Tarzan. Tar-zan.
Jane Porter:
Tarzan. Oh, I see!
Tarzan:
Oh, I see!
Tarzan:
[points at himself] Tarzan.
Tarzan:
[points at Jane] Oh, I see.
Jane Porter:
No, no, no. No.
Jane Porter:
[clears throat, points at herself] I'm Jane.
Tarzan:
No, no, no. No.
Tarzan:
[clears throat, points at himself] I'm Jane.
Jane Porter:
No, no.
Jane Porter:
[points at herself] Jane.
Jane Porter:
[points at Tarzan] Tarzan.
Jane Porter:
[points at herself] Jane.
Tarzan:
Jane.
Jane Porter:
Exactly.
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Professor Porter:
Looks like a man but walks like an ape. He could be the missing link!
Clayton:
Or our link to the gorillas.
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[repeated line]
Clayton:
Have we met?
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Tantor:
[Terk is dressed in Jane's dress to lure Kerchak away] Actually, I thought that dress was rather slimming on you.
Terk:
Oh, really? I thought it was a little revealing.
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Tantor:
What's everybody lookin' at?
Tantor:
[sees the camp] Ooh! The horror! It's gruesome! Hide me!
Terk:
Pull yourself together. You're embarrasing me. These things aren't alive.
Tantor:
I knew that.
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Professor Porter:
[after telling Jane to stay with Tarzan] What am I doing? Captain! Tell them you never found us! After all, people get lost in the jungle all the time!
[jumps out of the boat]
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Jane Porter:
[trying to coax a baby baboon to give her back a drawing] All right, enough of this. I want that paper on the count of three. One, two... Oh, look! Bananas!
[as the baboon looks away, Jane snatches the drawing away]
Jane Porter:
Ha ha! I can't believe you fell for that one!
[the baby baboon starts crying]
Jane Porter:
Now, now, don't give me those crocodile tears. What would your parents have to say?
[suddenly she hears a growl; turns around to face a band of angry baboons]
Jane Porter:
See? I told you they'd be cross. Go easy on him, children will be children.
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Terk:
What kind of animal are you?
Tantor:
You know, I've been thinking lately that Tarzan may be some sub-species of elephant.
Terk:
Are you kidding... What are you talking about?
Tantor:
I mean, think about it. He enjoys a peanut, I enjoy a peanut...
Terk:
He looks nothing like you!
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[Tarzan takes Clayton's gun and aims it at him]
Clayton:
Go ahead. Shoot me.
[chuckles]
Clayton:
Be a man.
[a shot is heard, but not from the gun; it's Tarzan mimicking a gunshot]
Tarzan:
Not a man like you!
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Tantor:
[as Tarzan is leaving on the boat] Tarzan!
Terk:
We're too late! I can't believe it! If only you had asked for directions.
Tantor:
We didn't even get to say goodbye.
Terk:
Well, good riddance! Who needs you? Go on, get out of here, Bald Boy! You ingrate! You bald ingrate!
[Throws a rock at the water]
Terk:
Go out and rot for all I care!
[to Tantor]
Terk:
What are you looking at?
Tantor:
I'm gonna miss him too.
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Clayton:
Sorry for the rude welcome, but I couldn't have you making a scene when we put your furry friends in their cages.
Tarzan:
Why?
Clayton:
Why? For 300 pound sterling a head. Actually, I have you to thank, old boy. Couldn't have done it without you.
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Tarzan:
Kerchak, forgive me.
Kerchak:
No. Forgive me, for not understanding that you have always been one of us. Our family will look to you now.
Tarzan:
No. Kerchak.
Kerchak:
Take care of them, my son. Take care of them.
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Ape Boy:
Hurry up, Terk!
Mungo:
Last one there's a dung beetle!
Terk:
Yeah, first one's gotta eat it!
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Young Tantor:
[Sees Tarzan swimming] Piranha! It's a piranha!
Tantor's Mother:
Tantor, there are no piranhas in Africa.
Elephant #1:
Don't tell the kid that. Of course there are piranhas in Africa.
Elephant #2:
No, she's right. They're native to South America.
Elephant #1:
Oh, come on, now.
Elephant #2:
You think I would be standing here if they were?
[Meanwhile, Tarzan is trying to get a hair from the first elephant's tail]
Young Tantor:
Look out, he's right behind you!
Tantor's Mother:
For the last time, honey, there are no piranhas in...
Elephant #1:
My butt! Something's got my butt!
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Jane Porter:
[Tarzan has saved her from the baboons] Put me down! Put me down!
[the baboons approach]
Jane Porter:
No, pick me up, pick me up, pick me up!
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Jane Porter:
[Hanging from a tree] It can't get any worse, can it?
[it starts to rain]
Jane Porter:
Obviously, it can.
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Clayton:
Ah, yes. I remember you. I think this one would be better off stuffed.
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Kerchak:
Everyone, we will avoid the strangers. Do not let them see you and do not seek them out.
Tarzan:
They mean us no harm.
Kerchak:
Tarzan, I don't know that.
Tarzan:
But I do. I have spent time with them.
Kerchak:
You may be willing to risk our safety, but I'm not.
Tarzan:
Why are you threatened by anyone different from you?
Kerchak:
Protect this family and stay away from them.
[Tarzan sulks away]
Kala:
Tarzan, for once listen to Kerchak.
Tarzan:
Why didn't you tell me there were creatures who look like me?
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Jane Porter:
[Describing how Tarzan walks] He bent his elbows out, and he walked like this.
Professor Porter:
Oh, I see! Just like aunt Isabel.
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Jane Porter:
And there were gorillas.
Professor Porter, Clayton:
Gorillas?
Clayton:
You found the gorillas? Where, Jane? Where?
Jane Porter:
He left with them.
Professor Porter:
Who did? Who?
Jane Porter:
Tarzan.
Clayton:
Tarzan?
Jane Porter:
The ape man.
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[a gunshot breaks the jungle silence]
Tarzan:
What was that?
Tantor:
It wasn't me, I swear.
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Jane Porter:
[after Clayton fires in the air] Mr. Clayton, please. What if it's a gorilla?
Clayton:
It's no gorilla.
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Clayton:
[Draws a crude gorilla on Jane's chalkboard and points to it with the chalk] Gorilla.
Tarzan:
[Takes the chalk and examines it] Gor-illa.
Professor Porter:
[Excited] Oh! Oh! He's got it!
Tarzan:
Gor-illa!
[Proceeds to scribble wildly on the chalkboard]
Tarzan:
Gorrrrr-illllla!
Professor Porter:
Oh, perhaps not...
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