| Movie |
Tapeheads |
| Year |
1988 |
 |
FBI Man #1:
Remember what we did to Jello Biafra?
|
|
Mo Fuzz:
All good things come in threes.
Josh Tager:
It's not good things. It's celebrity deaths that come in threes.
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Ivan Alexeev:
You look ravishing and I'd like to chew on your thighs.
Samantha Gregory:
I thought we had a professional relationship.
Ivan Alexeev:
So I'll pay.
|
|
Ivan:
You, you've got no ambition! You're content just existing! You need what I've got, brother.
Josh:
Herpes?
|
|
[Ivan & Josh explain their tardiness to their security boss]
Ivan:
Anybody else who'd save Pablo Casales - perhaps the greatest cellist in the world with the possible exception of Yo-Yo Ma - from a fiery car wreck on Sunset Boulevard would be bragging about it, but not Josh. He didn't want to spoil the 11 o'clock news for you.
Norton:
Don't bullshit me. I'm a big cello fan! Casales died years ago!
|
|
Norman Mart:
Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Russians have satellite laser weapons. Why can't we, too?
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Mo Fuzz:
This group is hotter than hot. They've sold more records in Sweden than Abba.
|
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Mo Fuzz:
I know you want to work for Mo Fuzz. And Mo Fuzz wants you to. But first, I'm going to need to you do something for me... on spec.
|
|
Ivan Alexeev:
Josh, losing those jobs is the best thing that ever happened to us! We're free to pursue our destiny!
Josh Tager:
What, abysmal failure?
Ivan Alexeev:
Negativity festers in you, man!
|
|
[Watching a music video]
Josh Tager:
Stupid. Inane. Vapid. Mind-rot. Stench. Pabulum.
Ivan Alexeev:
Yeah, it's all right!
|
|
[after being "HA!"-ed]
Ivan Alexeev:
I'm gonna make him eat that syllable.
|
|
Ivan Alexeev:
You know, Josh, in primitive societies, after they sever the umbilical cord, they eat the placenta in a ritualistic ceremony
[bites into a burger]
Ivan Alexeev:
Want a bite?
|
|
[Belinda is setting fire to a painting with a welding torch]
Belinda Mart:
You like it?
Josh Tager:
Like it? What is it?
Belinda Mart:
I call it...”Destruction Of Art."
|
|
Josh Tager:
Look, Ivan... I hope you're not putting too much faith in me. I don't even know if I...
Ivan Alexeev:
"IF"? Instant Failure! "FEAR" - False Evidence Appearing Real! We've talked about this!
|
|
Belinda Mart:
Ivan, why aren't you helping Josh set up the equipment?
Ivan Alexeev:
He's an artist. He's hands-on. You know what I do? I use my selling techniques to give my artist friend the personal freedom he needs. Freedom, choices, possibilities. That's what I'm about. The boring administrative stuff, you know? I envy him.
[beat]
Ivan Alexeev:
Can you get me another drink?
Belinda Mart:
Sure.
|
|
Bald Executive:
Everybody loves Menudo!
|
|
Heavy Metal Fan:
What time is it? What time is it? Oh! I hate waiting!
|
|
Video Vixen:
[after making the Blender Children's video, the video vixens swarm around Josh with requests] Teach me to read!
|
|
Reporter:
As your party's leading presidential candidate, you are a staunch advocate of nuclear proliferation. Does wanting more and bigger missiles stem from a penis envy of the Russians?
Norman Mart:
No, son. That's primitive thinking. I will add, though, that I'll put my slab on the yard stick against Gorby any day.
|
|
Roscoe:
Yo, friends,check this out.Roscoe's the name and they call me the king Grandmaster of the chicken and the waffle thing. I said 'read my lips', and friends, don't miss a word 'cause the Grandmaster's gonna give you the bird!
|
|
Roscoe:
Now when's the last time you had a wing with a waffle? Well that's too long! It oughta be unlawful!
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