| Movie |
S.W.A.T. |
| Year |
2003 |
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Hondo:
You know what they say, you're either SWAT or you're not.
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Street:
So why'd you pick me?
Hondo:
To piss off the captain.
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Deke:
We need to sell that***on eBay.
Street:
I only have one.
Deke:
We'll split the profits fifty-fifty, corner the market, break 'em down like a shotgun. The Polish Penatrater
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Hondo:
You wanna join S.W.A.T?
Chris:
No. I just like applying all the time.
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Gamble:
*** you and S.W.A.T.
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McCabe:
What? No roll, Hondo?
Hondo:
How do you know I didn't?
McCabe:
You didn't, did you?
Hondo:
They only roll in John Woo movies, not in real life.
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[about Hondo's S.W.A.T. selection]
Capt. Thomas Fuller:
Sanchez is a woman and Street, well he's on my***list
Hondo:
Hey! I'm on your***list too and I'm the team captain.
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Polish Hostage:
It's the damn robot aliens.
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Street:
[to Gamble] Is this your girlfriend? Cute.
Gamble's thug in bar:
No, but you can be my bitch.
Street:
[recoils in mock horror] Really?
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[to Captain Fuller]
Hondo:
Shame you're not playing a terrorist.
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Boxer:
I just want to know what you did to my little sister.
Street:
She's 28, Boxer, okay? And trust me, she's not so little.
McCabe:
[laughing] Oh no, you didn't...
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Street:
[to McCabe] Looks like you're not the prettiest one on S.W.A.T. anymore.
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Chris:
You wanna come to my house?
Street:
That was easy.
Chris:
My kid's having a birthday party tomorrow.
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McCabe:
This was supposed to be simple snatch and extract.
Brian Gamble:
Boxer was a threat, T.J.
McCabe:
Boxer was my friend!
Brian Gamble:
He was mine too.
Alex Montel:
Stop crying. You can buy new friends.
McCabe:
Don't give me any more reason to kill you.
Alex Montel:
What are going to do, shoot me? You should relax a little bit, my friend. I'm the money here. Don't forget it.
Brian Gamble:
We don't have time for this*** Look, you can go ahead. I know this sucks. Let's worry about it in paradise, all right?
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Hondo:
Here's where watching 'The World's Most Exciting Police Chases' pays off.
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[about Boxer's mustache]
Boxer:
Your mother likes it.
Street:
So does your sister.
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Hondo:
The reason we're gathered here on our God-given, much-needed day of rest is that we have a Polish hostage.
Deke:
So what if he's Polish?
Hondo:
No, no. Means he's one of those: "Anyone comes in, I'll blow my head off" type of guys.
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Hondo:
You know what? I think he might be Polish.
Deke:
Unbelievable.
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[From the first trailer]
Hondo:
Let's try to get in the killing mode.
Chris:
I am in killing mode.
Hondo:
So why you smiling?
Chris:
Because it tickles me.
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Velasquez:
SWAT stands for Special Weapons And Tactics. Where were your tactics out there?
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[after shooting through a hostage to take out the bank robber holding her by the neck]
Gamble:
I saved a hostage from getting shot.
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Chris Sanchez:
Just because I bought you a drink doesn't mean you're getting laid tonight.
Street:
So, what does two drinks mean?
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Gamble:
So this is what it's come down to, bustin' down doors with J-Lo?
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Deke:
Tell daddy how you want it.
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Gus:
[discussing his wife's disapproval of the soft drink Dr. Pepper] You know the deal, Jim. When we got married, I converted to Mormonism. We can't consume anything that alters our state of mind. We treat out bodies with respect.
Street:
And I treat mine like an amusement park. That's the differences that make this country great!
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Brian Gamble:
[to Street] You're like a goddamn rash!
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Brian Gamble:
You know, I didn't know that they made bulletproof bras. Is it just me? But you know, I didn't know that.
Chris Sanchez:
What they need to make are bulletproof condoms big enough to fit your big head.
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[the team's progress is halted by a firmly locked gate]
Deke:
Ain't this a bitch?
Street:
A cold hard one.
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[last lines]
Hondo:
Technically, our watch has been over for 12 hours.
Street:
So?
Hondo:
Yeah. What the hell. Mount up.
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Hondo:
You look like you need a Band-Aid.
Street:
Somebody else needs a body bag downstairs.
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Alex Montel:
What do you make, $66,000 a year?
Street:
Not even with overtime.
Alex Montel:
Ha, loser.
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Street:
Bad day, huh?
Beat-up Latino Thug:
Kiss my*** ese.
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Street:
Gamble, let her go!
Gamble:
Take a shot, Jimbo!
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McCabe:
[lying in the disabled learjet] How's Boxer?
Hondo:
What do you care?
McCabe:
C'mon, Hondo, just give me that.
Hondo:
He's going to make it.
McCabe:
Good.
Hondo:
Just couldn't resist, could ya? So what do you wanna do?
McCabe:
Goddamnit, Sarge.
[McCabe shoots himself dead]
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Alex Montel:
American Greed.
Street:
Shut up.
Alex Montel:
So reliable.
Street:
Shut Up! Another officer is dead because you shot your mouth off.
Alex Montel:
That's how I like cops - dead.
Street:
You wanna join him? Huh?
Alex Montel:
He knew the dangers, no? That's why he signed up to be a police officer. Carry a gun in the Wild West - like you, Cowboy. Would you be sitting here if this job wasn't dangerous? Huh? Anyway... killing him probably got you 20 new recruits. You should thank me.
Street:
Yeah, you're right, I should. Boxer, thank him for me, will ya?
Boxer:
Love to.
[Elbows Montel in the stomach]
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Uncle Martin Gascoigne:
Your father is running the business.
Alex Montel:
No, I... I retired him.
Uncle Martin Gascoigne:
Really? He never spoke of that to me.
Alex Montel:
That's because he can't speak. I slit his throat.
[Slashes Gascoigne's throat]
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[after hearing Street over radio yell officer down]
Hondo:
Flip a bitch!
Deke:
Flippin' a bitch!
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Hondo:
Street, you have a driver's license?
Street:
Got a library card.
Hondo:
Good enough. So get your uniform on. You're driving me around today.
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Hondo:
Oh look, they got their own airport security.
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Hondo:
I need your A-game boys... and girl.
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Hondo:
10-David, this is 70-David.
Capt. Thomas Fuller:
70-David, where the hell are you?
Hondo:
We are somewhere around Sixth and Trenton. We lost communication in the tunnels. Where's our backup?
Capt. Thomas Fuller:
[**POSSIBLE SPOILER**] Everything I have is going to Hawthorne Airport. That's where your friends Gamble and T.J. McCabe are headed.
Hondo:
That's the other side of town! Send a couple units to pick us up.
Capt. Thomas Fuller:
PICK YOU UP? For all I know you're in on this! I got a good mind to bring you in!
Hondo:
[to Street, Sanchez, and Deke] Like hell. Come on, let's go.
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Airport Screener:
[after finding a pocket knife in customer's carryon bag] You can't bring this through the airport!
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Hondo:
Drop Fruit of the Loomski in the A-car.
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Chris:
Remind me to buy some shares in Kevlar.
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Hondo:
Sorry. Wrong room.
Chris:
Who are you looking for?
Hondo:
Chris Sanchez.
Chris:
I'm Chris Sanchez.
Hondo:
YOU'RE Chris Sanchez?
Chris:
Look, if you're Internal Affairs, that guy had razorblades in his mouth. I had to put him down hard. I'm sick and tired of these bullshit complains because some vato doesn't like getting thrown to the pavement by a woman.
Hondo:
[Raises eyebrow] I look like IAD to you?
[Sanchez shrugs]
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Capt. Thomas Fuller:
Nice job.
Hondo:
Don't sound so happy.
Capt. Thomas Fuller:
Still got a problem. He's still here.
[Gestures towards Alex Montel]
Chris:
Road trip?
Street:
[Beaten up from the fight with Gamble] Road trip.
Hondo:
Yeah... road trip. Guess you'll have to fire us later.
[Street spits blood out of his mouth, team walks away toward arriving SWAT truck with Fuller smiling at the team for once in the whole movie]
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McCabe:
[as Gamble retrieves a hidden landmine] You gotta be shittin' me.
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Hondo:
How can I trust a man who won't eat a good old-fashioned American hotdog?
Street:
[smiling] He's a vegetarian.
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Hondo:
[Deleted Scene: Hondo Reviews Files at Home outside, hears a noise on the ground, then looks down at a deer from his balcony] Hey! Get the hell off my damn property.
Hondo:
[Deer looks at him] There's coyotes up here.
Hondo:
As a rule, they're punks, but if I was you, I'd watch my back.
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Patrol Officer:
[Deleted Scene: Gun shop where owners are watching bank robbery coverage on TV, and an LAPD Patrol Officer runs in with his partner] You got anything that can penetrate body armor?
Gun Shop Owner:
No sir, those are restricted weapons...
Patrol Officer:
[Interrupts] Bullshit. What do you got in the back?
Gun Shop Owner:
You know, I actually might have a thing or two...
[Heads to back of shop, and says to other gun shop owner]
Gun Shop Owner:
You want to get a case of those .223's for em?
Gun Shop Owner 2:
You got it.
Gun Shop Owner:
[Returns with 3 assault rifles] Here we go... how do you plan on paying for these?
Patrol Officer:
The city will reimburse you.
Gun Shop Owner:
For restricted weapons out of the back of my shop?
Patrol Officer:
[as the 2 officers run back out] We owe ya!
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Deke:
[Deleted Scene: Locker Room] So my wife's all worried about me workin' SWAT.
Boxer:
They always are at first.
Deke:
[Imitates his wife] "How am I gonna take care of the kids if something happens to you?" So I called to get a little extra insurance. When I tell the chick down there I'm workin SWAT, guess what she does?
McCabe:
Laughs?
Boxer:
Hangs up?
Deke:
She laughs her***off, AND hangs up.
McCabe:
[as Boxer and TJ laugh] Bitch. Alright guys, take care.
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Velasquez:
[Deleted Scene: Hondo's Introduction- Lt. Velasquez says to Officers of SWAT Division] Gentlemen! Our new 70-David has just made his first stealth entry. If you don't know him, you've probably heard of him: Sergeant Dan "Hondo" Harrelson!
[Officers cheer and applaud, with Boxer and McCabe's voices louder than the others]
Velasquez:
Here is a man who will outrun, outfight, outshoot
[Hondo raises his eyebrows in disbelief at Velasquez]
Velasquez:
, outsmart, out-paperwork, ALL OF YOU.
McCabe:
I got 20 bucks says otherwise.
Boxer:
I'll cover 10 of it for you.
Velasquez:
Now you know gambling's not allowed, and I shouldn't have to tell you that... but I'll cover that 10.
Boxer:
Done.
Velasquez:
Few words, Sergeant?
Hondo:
As a matter of fact...
[Pretends to smack TJ with his book]
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Boxer:
[to Street] Hey, don't forget to take your safety off!
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Hondo:
Street. Don't beat him so badly I can't get a rematch, all right?
Street:
I won't make any promises.
Hondo:
It's my money, man.
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Hondo:
Let's go make the Captain look like a hero.
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Robber #1:
I said kill that bitch and throw her out front!
Robber #2:
[Looking at a survailence camera] Hey, I'm on TV.
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Hondo:
Deke, the frog's runnin'!
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