| Movie |
Quick Change |
| Year |
1990 |
 |
Bank Guard:
What the Hell kind of clown are you?
Grimm:
The crying on the inside kind, I guess.
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Phyllis:
A real man? Who has to use a gun and hold people prisoner? You're not a man. You're a coward.
Hostage:
She does not speak for the rest of us Mr. Clown. We think that you are quite brave and manly.
Phyllis:
You big ***! You're all a bunch of PUSSIES!
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Street Barker:
Nude women! Nude women
[Grimm dressed as a clown walks by]
Street Barker:
Clowns Welcome! Clowns welcome!
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Loomis:
Please God! We need a cab! One lousy ***in' cab!
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Loomis:
Is that our plane?
Phyllis:
No, if it were our plane, it would be crashing.
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Grimm:
Oh sir! You forgot your map! And our millions of dollars!
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Loomis:
You aren't going to hit me again are you?
Grimm:
I haven't hit anybody since I was nine.
Loomis:
Yeah, but it was me you hit!
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[boarding a plane at JFK]
Flight Attendant:
Do you think you're late enough?
Grimm:
Oh, you must be from around here.
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[shouting for a cab]
Loomis:
Ten thousand dollars for a taxi!
Phyllis:
And a blow job!
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[after Loomis is injured jumping from a moving cab]
Loomis:
Are you gonna hit me now?
Grimm:
No, but if your leg is broken, we'll have to destroy you.
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Grimm:
I booked the eleven o'clock to Martinique.
Phyllis:
Martinique?
Loomis:
Martinique? But I don't know anything about Martinique.
Grimm:
What did you know about Fiji?
Loomis:
Well... nothing.
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Loomis:
It's bad luck just SEEING a thing like that!
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[Hispanic woman is shouting on a street corner]
Grimm:
There must be alot of competition for that corner.
Phyllis:
It's a good thing she's not too symbolic or anything.
Loomis:
what does that mean anyway? Flores por el muerte?
Grimm:
I sure couldn't tell ya'.
Phyllis:
Aw, you know Grimm, it means flowers for the dead.
[shoots her an angry glare]
Loomis:
Oh! We're all gonna die! We're a-a-a-ll gonna d-i-i-e!
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Grimm:
[sobbing] The man is an animal! Ripping out phones, urinating on desks... you see what he did to Ms. Cochran's shirt? There's a scratch here, I mean, it's not deep, but... it's there.
Phyllis:
It's okay.
Chief Rotzinger:
Did he hurt anybody else? Is the strain beginning to show on him?
Grimm:
"If I could sleep ten days and nights in a rice paddy, I could certainly last in this lousy bank." This is what the animal said to us! He says to Ms. Cochran here:
[makes humping motions at Phyllis]
Grimm:
"Baby! Up your butt with a coconut!" I think he was prepared to do it! Except I saw no coconut. He, uh, he had no coconut to my knowledge.
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Hugh:
[to other hostages] Can it, here comes Clarabelle.
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Phyllis:
Honey, babe? You've got a gun - shoot them.
Grimm:
I want to, but they're fur-bearing. I'd need some kind of permit, wouldn't I?
[to construction workers, sarcastically]
Grimm:
You know, I want to thank you guys, you could've given us help, but you've given us so much more.
Street Sign Worker:
[cheerfully] Hey, that's what we're here for, right?
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[Loomis is driving the car backwards]
Phyllis:
[sarcastically] Oh, we're REALLY making good time now.
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Loomis:
Now, we're going to find a familiar street soon.
Phyllis:
I'd settle for a familiar borough.
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Loomis:
It was an accident, Phyllis.
Phyllis:
Oh, you know? So was Chernobyl.
Grimm:
True, but Loomis didn't irradiate anybody.
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Phyllis:
Great! We'll have to sail a raft to Fiji like Thor Heyerdahl!
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[Johnny holds a gun to Grimm's back]
Johnny:
This ain't my***in your back!
Grimm:
That's a relief.
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Grimm:
[frustrated, to bus driver] You better get some help! You're becoming Ralph Kramden's evil twin!
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Phyllis:
[comforting Loomis] Nothing's your fault...
[hits Loomis]
Phyllis:
... except you honked the ***ing horn.
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[From a shadowy alley]
Flower Lady:
Flores! Flores para los muertes! Flores! Para los muertes! Los muertes! Los muertes! Los muertes!
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Phyllis:
To the God-damned AIRPORT!
Loomis:
Whatta got?***in your ears?
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Grimm:
I'm sure no harm will come to me once I'm inside the bank all by myself.
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Chief Rotzinger:
Listen, I've had just about enough of your comedy, clown. We're coming in through the plate glass.
Grimm:
Alright, I gotta hang-up now, because I gotta go kill everybody.
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Grimm:
Button it up, pal. Nobody likes a whiner!
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Bank Guard:
I said "we're closed," Bozo.
Grimm:
[dressed as a clown] : I wouldn't. And that's Mr. Bozo, okay?
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Grimm:
If I can sleep ten days and nights in a rice patty, I can certainly last in this lousy bank!
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[getting on a bus]
Phyllis:
What's that smell?
Grimm:
Used wine.
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[last lines]
Chief Rotzinger:
[getting into car] Hey, we gotta commend this Skipowski... I mean, Chipowski.
[Rotzinger pops out of car and looks in total disbelief at the plane taking off]
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Grimm:
I was in 'Nam with a jerk like you.
Policeman:
Oh boy.
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Grimm:
When you say "near" the airport...
Bus Driver:
.48 miles.
Grimm:
Alright. When do we get there?
Bus Driver:
22:30 hours.
Grimm:
When is that? In human time.
Bus Driver:
10:30.
Grimm:
10:30. Say you had to walk it...
Bus Driver:
With that injured individual?
Grimm:
Yes.
Bus Driver:
I can't give you a precise figure on that.
Grimm:
Come on! Make a guess.
Bus Driver:
21 minutes.
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Chief Rotzinger:
What's your name pal, what should I call ya?
Grimm:
Well, I've always liked the name chip. Would you call me chip?
Chief Rotzinger:
Alright. What was that shooting just now, Chip?
Grimm:
Oh wait! Call me skip.
Chief Rotzinger:
Okay, Skip, what was that shooting?
Grimm:
The cameras, I was shooting the cameras. They were looking at me. Quit looking at me!
Grimm:
[shoots the camera]
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Grimm:
Thank you Roy. God! Alright, Roy's going to get us the duggle bag, a wheelchair and some skis out of lost luggage to cover your limp.
Loomis:
Did you give him a couple of bucks?
Grimm:
Yeah, try $1200. Scary but Roy's sixth sense told him we were in some kind of jam...
Loomis:
ESP exists, Grimm. They've proved it.
Grimm:
Yeah, you picking up anything from me right now, pal?
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Bus Driver:
Please hold on to your transfer, you need a transfer to re-board. Please hold on to your transfer, you need a transfer to re-board. Please hold on to your transfer, you need a transfer to re-board...
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