| Movie |
The Adventures of George the Projectionist |
| Year |
2006 |
 |
Antonio Pannolino:
It's Cinema Verite!
Alan Long:
Who's she?
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Andrei Basilashvili:
[in an audition for the gangster role in Antonio's new epic] Come on all you...! Er, I cannot say this word, it's, er, against my religion.
Spadina Bathurst:
Well, just read on - we'll get round it - Read!
Andrei Basilashvili:
Come on all you, er, morons, this is a stick up, or I'll flipping well execute every last one of you... Idiots!
[pause]
Andrei Basilashvili:
Yopso Mopso
[translated loosely from Russian - 'Oh deary me!']
Andrei Basilashvili:
This not very original script!
Antonio Pannolino:
Philistine! Get Out!
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Nicole:
Good Morning Sir, it's Mr.Basi... er, Basila... Ba...
Andrei Basilashvili:
Andrei Basilashvili.
Nicole:
Yes, of course, please have a seat - my name's Nicole, so, what sort of employment are you seeking?
Andrei Basilashvili:
Film Star!
Nicole:
Sorry?
Andrei Basilashvili:
I want to be a film star.
Nicole:
OK
[pause]
Nicole:
do you have any experience at all in this?
Andrei Basilashvili:
Well, I used to be a taxi driver, and I met Nikita Mikhalkov - he is one of Russia's greatest actor-directors... have you seen any of his films?
Nicole:
No, I'm afraid not.
Andrei Basilashvili:
They're very good!
Nicole:
[pause while Nicole searches for a suitable job for Andrei] OK. This is what we have at present sir... just came in this morning - it's a vacancy for a sanitary technician, but it's at a very prestigious London cinema...
Andrei Basilashvili:
Well, anything is better than scrubbing toilets!
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George Warner:
Una beer, s'il vous plait
[long pause while George is ignored by the barman]
George Warner:
Erm, une beer, s'il vous plait
[another long pause]
George Warner:
Er, Je vois biere, s'il vous plait!
French Barman:
[the barman eventually responds whilst admiring the large array of bottles lining the bar] Oui, moi aussi.
Lucia:
Would you like some assistance?
George Warner:
Oh, you speak English!
Lucia:
Just a little - and a little French - and a little Italian...
George Warner:
Oh, that's nice!
Lucia:
[to the barman] Une biere pour mon ami le rosbif s'il vous plait.
French Barman:
Bien Sur.
Lucia:
I'm Lucia.
George Warner:
George! - pleased to meet you.
Lucia:
Enchanté!
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George Warner:
[the Projectionist's Song - verse 1] I am the very model of a modern film projectionist / And I can count upon one hand the changeovers that I have missed / At twenty four frames per second the pictures synchronise with sound / To give an image, oh so good, some call me a perfectionist / I scrub my lenses every day and clean the gate with cotton buds / I polish sprockets while they turn and smother them in super-suds / The reels and reels of celluloid my audiences have enjoyed / Give pleasure and excitement more than anyone can ever judge.
[chorus - Give pleasure and excitment... ]
George Warner:
[verse 2] Although my expertise is usually at it's pinnacle / Sometimes I get a film that's done the rounds and is quite terrible / If on opening I'm out of rack it means I have to take the flak from stuck up management and bosses really quite detestable.
[chorus - If on opening he's out of rack... ]
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Stefania Pannolino:
[interior of Cinecitta Studios, Rome. Casino set for the production of Antonio's epic 'Red Carpet'. Stefania's character is at the roulette] Fifty Thousand on the Black!
Croupier:
Fifty Thousand Madam?
Spalding:
The lady's credit is good - place the bet.
Croupier:
Fifty Thousand on Black.
Bob:
I'd put it on Red if I were you...
Stefania Pannolino:
And why is that?
Bob:
Because red is the colour of love!
Stefania Pannolino:
Mmm... Pleased to meet you
[pause]
Stefania Pannolino:
My name is Tatyana... Tatyana Legova.
Bob:
Don't mind if I do - The name's Bob.
Antonio Pannolino:
[the microphone boom drops into shot] Cut!
Stefania Pannolino:
Oh no, not again...
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Andrei Basilashvili:
[scene from the film within the film; Antonio's 'Red Carpet' epic - The Gangster invites the Beautiful Actress to dinner] Come in! You're late...
Stefania Pannolino:
I thought it was polite for a lady to be 20 minutes late in England.
Andrei Basilashvili:
Well, I'm Russian, and you're 40 minutes late.
Stefania Pannolino:
Then I'm just doubly polite, and anyway, I'm Italian!
Andrei Basilashvili:
Huh!
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Mr.Harris:
[Mr.Harris has gone mad as a result of being cut out of Antonio's film. He is on the roof of the cinema, plane spotting in the pouring rain and shouting to the imaginary aircraft] Golf Aplha! Golf Alpha! Mike, Alpha, Delta! Ip-gip-hop-hop-ooh-ay-Golf, India, Tango! Ho-ho-oh-ohh-aah-ah! Looks like we're on Basil Brush departures today!
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