| Movie |
Oscar |
| Year |
1991 |
 |
Eduardo:
Ah, so now you wanna make-a peace with you papa? You wanna me die happy.
Snaps:
Of course, Papa.
Eduardo:
So now you *wanna* me die!
[slaps him]
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Snaps:
Poole was right! You are an ox *and* a moron!
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Lisa Provolone:
...I want to go to the top of the Empire State Building!
Anthony Rossano:
And what am I doing during all this? Babysitting Oscar's kid?
Lisa Provolone:
You always this nasty?
Anthony Rossano:
YES! Get used to it!
Lisa Provolone:
[gasps] I'm marrying a brute! I never want to see your face again... until the wedding!
Anthony Rossano:
That's fine with me! And separate honeymoons!
Lisa Provolone:
Fine!
Anthony Rossano:
See you in church!
Lisa Provolone:
Hmph!
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Dr. Thornton Poole:
[about Snaps' daughter, Lisa] She seems to have such nicely rounded diphthongs!
Snaps:
That's what got her into this jam!
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Aldo:
Breakfast is soived.
Snaps:
"Served", you paluka!
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Snaps:
[pointing to Anthony] Pop this guy!
Aldo:
Boss! We can't have a stiff in the house with company coming!
Snaps:
You're right. It ain't proper.
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Snaps:
[removing Connie's many weapons] It's like disarming Germany.
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Snaps:
Connie! Am-scray!
Connie:
Do I have to, Boss? Every time I leave I fall behind.
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Connie:
Even in the old days he was known as an honest crook.
Dr. Thornton Poole:
That's an oxymoron.
Connie:
Gee, you shouldn't oughta said that, Doc.
Snaps:
Yeah, leave Connie alone. He does the best he can.
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Anthony:
All that travel must cut into your home life.
Dr. Thornton Poole:
Well, I don't spend as much time with mother as I'd like. But she's got the cats.
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Snaps:
Let's get started, I got until noon to look like a banker.
Finucci:
Oh, we make-a you look like a banker... take off-a you pants.
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Snaps:
You're a butler now! Butle!
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Snaps:
If it's Poole you want, it's Poole you'll get. But, Lisa, you've *got* to cross the finish line on this one! This is your third fiance today and it ain't even lunch yet!
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Connie:
I warned him, boss.
Aldo:
Anthony said it was a matter of life an death, boss.
Snaps:
And will you two mugs stop callin? me "boss"? It ain't respectable!
Aldo & Connie:
Sorry, boss.
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Connie:
I got it! You daughter's not your daughter, and the cash that used to be the jewels is now your underwear!
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Sophia:
Now you fired the maid?
Snaps:
No! She quit to marry Bruce Underwood!
Sophia:
When did that happen?
Snaps:
I don't know... somewhere between my vest and my pants.
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[Poole is Mr. Provolone's grammar instructor]
Snaps:
Mornin', Doc!
Dr. Thornton Poole:
Mr. Provolon-e. Where are those G's?
Snaps:
[slaps money bag] In here.
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Anthony Rossano:
When I took over, your books were a mess.
Snaps:
They don't sound like they're in no great shape now!
[to himself]
Snaps:
Damn, a double-negative.
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Lisa Provolone:
I'm not a little girl anymore! Look!
[opens robe to reveal nightie]
Snaps:
Put that away, I'M YOUR FATHER!
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Lisa Provolone:
...I wanna lay on the beach in Honolulu!
Snaps:
Do whatever you want, just don't leave this room!
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Snaps:
[begins choking Anthony] And just how do *you* know *my* daughter?
Anthony:
[choking] We met at Club-33.
Snaps:
[shouts] In a speakeasy?
Anthony:
[choking] It's a very respectable speakeasy.
Snaps:
You couldn't even pick one that bought *my* beer!
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Snaps:
Of course I knew. I just had no idea!
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Aldo:
Lemme me show you tha door;
[shouts]
Aldo:
There's tha door!
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Snaps:
[to Theresa] You owe me this, sister.
Connie:
But I thought she was your daughter.
Snaps:
Shut up.
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Snaps:
[Theresa is looking for Anthony and is asking Snaps where she might be able to find him] I may have an idea where he is.
Theresa:
Where.
Snaps:
Closer than I thought. Now I want you to stay here and don't come out. You owe me this sister.
Connie:
I thought she was your daughter.
Snaps:
Shut up!
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Aldo:
Never witness nuthin'. You live longer.
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Snaps:
Whadda day! Both my girls are getting married!
Sophia:
[looks at Snaps suspiciously] What do you mean, both?
Snaps:
[embraces her, indicates Theresa] Sophia, my wife, meet Theresa, my daughter.
Sophia:
If she's your daughter, who's her mother?
Roxanne:
I am.
Sophia:
[shouts] You had a child with the new maid?
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Snaps:
[after stumbling over the classic elocution exercise, "Round the rough and rugged rocks the ragged rascal rudely ran."] Aw, it's no use, Doc. I'll never learn to talk good.
Dr. Thornton Poole:
Do not despair, Mr. Provolon-e. We shall try a different tack.
[takes out a book and reads]
Dr. Thornton Poole:
"Rocco the rum-runner rubbed out Rico the Rat with his Rosco for robbing his rum-running receipts."
Snaps:
[repeats the sentence perfectly and enthusiastically]
Dr. Thornton Poole:
You've got it!
Snaps:
Well, yeah! You finally came up with something that made sense!
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Father Clemente:
Oh, by the way? Congratulations on your daughter marrying Bruce Underwood.
Sophia:
Oh, I'm afraid there's been a change, Father. She's now marrying a nice Italian boy. Anthony Rosano.
Father Clemente:
It's all for the better. Nothing like a big Italian wedding! Anthony Rosano!
Snaps:
Well, forget Anthony, she's not marrying him any more.
Sophia:
What?
Father Clemente:
Well, that's a shame. But she's young. Someday she'll find the right one.
Snaps:
She's found the right one.
Sophia:
Who?
Snaps:
Doctor Poole!
Sophia:
Doctor Poole?
Dr. Thornton Poole:
[leans over railing] Hello!
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Nora:
Mr. Provolone! I'm leaving you to go to the Underwood's.
Snaps:
Underwood's? You're going to work for Bruce?
Nora:
I'm marrying Bruce.
Snaps:
You're marrying Bruce, I found him first! I mean for my daughter.
Nora:
We met the day he called on Lisa. Oh, it was love at first sight.
Snaps:
Congratulations... You're fired!
Nora:
You can't fire me... I quit!
Snaps:
Try gettin' a reference outta me sister! Great! The maid gets a millionaire, and my daughter gets a chauffer.
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Dr. Thornton Poole:
Aldo is a treasure trove of linguistic anomolies.
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Lt. Toomey, Chicago PD:
A leopard don't change its stipes.
Officer Keough:
You mean spots.
Lt. Toomey, Chicago PD:
[shouting] I mean Snaps!
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Snaps:
I'm used to dealing with mobsters and bootleggers and gunsles but you bankers, scary.
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