| Movie |
Oh, Mr. Porter! |
| Year |
1937 |
 |
Superintendent:
It's a country station, rather off the beaten track.
William Porter:
Oh, I don't mind, as long as it's near the railway.
|
|
[William Porter is wheel-tapping a train]
Managing director's wife:
You may think me a little stupid but why do they tap them?
William Porter:
Well, you see madam, it's like this. If I tap the wheel with this hammer and the wheel goes clang, then I know that the wheel's there.
Managing director:
But supposing that the wheel doesn't go clang?
William Porter:
Well, then I know that the train's gone!
|
|
Postman:
You're wasting your time.
Porter:
Well, what are you doing?
Postman:
Just watching you wasting your time.
|
|
Jeremiah Harbottle:
Next train's gone!
|
|
Jeremiah Harbottle:
[pocket watch to ear, it having been flattened by a train, exclaims in surprise] It's stopped!
|
|
First irate farmer:
[confronting the station master about a cancelled train] I've got a return to Dublin.
Second irate farmer:
And I've got a single to Belfast.
Third irate farmer:
And what am I going to do with my Cork.
Porter:
[Opens his mouth to reply but thinks better of it and says nothing]
|
|
William Porter:
Well, I can't give you the exact number at the moment.
William Porter:
[pauses to think] But in rough figures I would say quite a lot.
|
|
William Porter:
[sniffs] Is something burning somewhere?
Jeremiah Harbottle:
That would be Albert, cooking the breakfast.
William Porter:
Smells more like somebody cooking Albert.
|
|
William Porter:
Albert. Who's Albert?
Jeremiah Harbottle:
He comes in for me when I'm not here.
William Porter:
Well, which is his clock?
Jeremiah Harbottle:
[Jerry puts William's clock on the mantelpiece] He hasn't got a clock. He's still alive.
William Porter:
[snatching clock] Hey, give me that back!
Jeremiah Harbottle:
What? Aren't you go to put it with the others?
William Porter:
What, amongst them? They're a lot of tombstones!
|
|
Jeremiah Harbottle:
Got yer clock?
|
