| Movie |
Oh, God! |
| Year |
1977 |
 |
God:
I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me me.
|
|
Jerry Landers:
If you're God, how can You permit all the suffering that goes on in the world?
God:
I don't permit the suffering - you do.
|
|
Bobbie Landers:
I went to take out the garbage today and two people blessed me! And one of them blessed the garbage!
|
|
God:
The last miracle I did was the 1969 Mets. Before that, I think you have to go back to the Red Sea.
|
|
God:
The reason I put everyone here naked... I wasn't trying to be cute. It's just that with clothes there's right away pockets, and pockets, you gotta put something in 'em.
|
|
George Summers:
You know I've heard it all in this chair. I know what being a manager can do to a man. Trouble with books. Humping checkout girls in the freezer.
|
|
Jerry Landers:
People are always praying to You. Do You listen?
God:
I can't help hearing. I don't always listen.
Jerry Landers:
So then You don't care.
God:
Of course I care! But what can I do?
Jerry Landers:
What can You do? You're God!
God:
Only for the big picture. I don't get into details.
|
|
[last lines]
Jerry Landers:
Maybe, sometimes... couldn't we just talk?
God:
I'll tell you what. You talk... I'll listen.
|
|
God:
Sometimes when you don't feel normal, doing a normal thing makes you feel normal. Here... start shaving.
|
|
Jerry Landers:
I lost my job, you know.
God:
[shrugs] Lose a job, save a world. Not a bad deal.
|
|
Jerry Landers:
[God is riding with Jerry in Jerry's car] Now, you've been saying a lot of things, and making a lot of things happen, but none of it seems...
God:
God-like?
Jerry Landers:
Yeah, God-like.
God:
And what to you would be God-like?
Jerry Landers:
Well... change the weather.
God:
Ah, special effects, eh? What would you like? A little earthquake, maybe, or a tornado?
Jerry Landers:
Oh no, I wouldn't want anyone hurt.
Jerry Landers:
What then?
Jerry Landers:
Well... how about a little rain?
God:
One small shower, coming up.
[Rain begins falling]
Jerry Landers:
Hey... that's incredible! You didn't even bat an eye!
God:
Rain's not too hard.
Jerry Landers:
This is amazing!
[He turns on the windshield wipers and discovers that the rain is only falling inside the car]
Jerry Landers:
Hey, it's not raining outside! It's just in here!
God:
Why should I spoil everybody's day?
Jerry Landers:
This is fantastic!
|
|
Jerry Landers:
I don't even go to any church!
God:
Neither do I.
|
|
God:
Why is it so hard for you to believe? Is my physical existence any more improbable than your own? What about all that hoo-ha with the devil awhile ago from that movie? Nobody had any problem believing that the devil took over and existed in a little girl. All she had to do was wet the rug, throw up some pea soup and everybody believed. The devil you could believe, but not God? I work in my own way. I don't, I don't get inside little children; they got enough to do just being themselves. Also I'm not about to go around to every person in the world and say, 'Look it's me, I wanna talk to you.' So I picked one man. One very good man. I told him God lives. I live. He had trouble believing too, in the beginning. I understood. I'm not sure how this whole miracle business started, the idea that anything connected with me has to be a miracle. Personally I'm sorry that it did. Makes the distance between us even greater. But if a miracle helps you believe that I am who I say I am...I'll give you one. A good one.
|
|
God:
I know how hard it is in these times to have faith. But maybe if you could have the faith to start there, maybe the times would change. You could change them. Think about it. Try. And try not to hurt each other. There's been enough of that. It really gets in the way. I'm a God of very few words and Jerry's already given you mine. However hopeless, helpless, mixed up and scary it all gets, it can work. If you find it hard to believe in me, maybe it would help you to know that I believe in you.
|
