| Movie |
The Addams Family |
| Year |
1991 |
 |
Gomez:
We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, we danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you.
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[Wednesday is hooking up an electric chair]
Wednesday:
Pugsley, sit in the chair.
Pugsley:
Why?
Wednesday:
So we can play a game.
Pugsley:
What game?
Wednesday:
[strapping him in] It's called, "Is There a God?"
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Pugsley:
Are they dead?
Wednesday:
Does it matter?
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Girl Scout:
Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday:
Yes.
Girl Scout:
I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley:
Yes.
Girl Scout:
Well, I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday:
Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
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Gomez:
That's the spirit, Thing! Lend a hand!
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[Watching Pugsley sleep]
Morticia:
It's so sweet. He looks just like a little entree.
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Morticia:
Children, what are you doing?
Wednesday:
I'm going to electrocute him.
Morticia:
But we're late for the charity auction.
Wednesday:
But, Mother...
Morticia:
I said no.
Pugsley:
Pleeaaaase?
Morticia:
Oh, all right.
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Morticia:
Thing, you're a handful.
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Morticia:
Don't torture yourself, Gomez. That's my job.
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Wednesday:
May I have the salt.
Morticia:
What do we say?
Wednesday:
NOW.
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Morticia:
Wednesday, play with your food!
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Gomez:
How long has it been since we've waltzed?
Morticia:
Oh, Gomez... hours.
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Gomez:
They say a man who represents himself has a fool for a client. Well, with God as my witness, I am that fool!
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Gomez:
2, 10, 11. Eyes, fingers, toes!
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Morticia:
Gomez.
Gomez:
Querida?
Morticia:
Last night you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. Do it again!
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Wednesday:
Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle, not even for a vacation. Everyone knows that.
Dr. Pinderschloss:
Oh, my little bundle. So much you don't understand. The human spirit, it is a hard thing to kill.
Grandmama:
Even with a chainsaw.
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Dr. Pinderschloss:
Love/hate, hate/love. Like for mama, no?
Gomez:
But I didn't hate my mother. It was an accident!
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[as they examine a rare and valueable heirloom Morticia is about to donate to charity]
Grandmama:
Let's keep it!
Morticia:
Hush, mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.
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[Looking for something in a wardrobe]
Morticia:
"Uncle Niknak's winter wardrobe." "Uncle Niknak's summer wardrobe." "Uncle Niknak."
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Morticia:
Margaret?
Margaret:
Hmm?
Morticia:
About the séance tonight, I wish you'd come. It's Gomez. I'm terribly worried about him. He won't eat, he can't sleep, he keeps coughing up blood.
Margaret:
He coughs up blood?
Morticia:
Well, not like he used to.
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Wednesday:
I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else.
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Margaret:
Everyone keeps asking where he bought his costume.
Gomez:
It is a wonderful hat.
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Grandmama:
Dinner's gonna be late.
[goes outside]
Grandmama:
Here, boy! Here, boy!
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Sally Jessy Raphael:
So, you claim that your son was brainwashed by voodoo witch doctors and forced to recrute others? Let's take a call.
Gomez:
Hello, Sally?
Sally Jessy Raphael:
Mr. Addams, *please* stop calling! We do not know where they meet!
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Morticia:
Gomez, why don't we go for a drive. The whole family.
Gomez:
A drive? And miss Gilligan?
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Uncle Fester:
Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone?
Wednesday:
He's only a child.
Uncle Fester:
No excuse! Aim for a major artery. The jugular.
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Gomez:
[watching home movies] Remember that fateful night?
Uncle Fester:
Of course... Your first cigar!
Gomez:
What? Come on, Old Man, I've smoked since I was 5. Mother insisted.
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Margaret:
This is all so humiliating. Why did I marry you?
Tully Alfford:
Because I said yes.
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Judge:
[after a golf ball is hit through his window] Damn you, Addams!
Gomez:
Sorry about the window, Judge. Keep the ball, I have a whole bucket full.
Judge:
You moron!
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[Pugsley is strapped to a pole, mumbling urgently around an apple in his mouth]
Wednesday:
Don't be a baby. I know what I'm doing.
[She levels a crossbow]
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Fauna Amor:
I'm Fauna!
Flora Amor:
I'm Flora!
Tully Alfford:
I'm flattered.
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Morticia:
And our credo: "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc." We gladly feast on those who would subdue us. Not just pretty words.
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[Pugsley is strapped in the electric chair]
Wednesday:
[Cranking the switches] It has to warm up.
Pugsley:
Why?
Wednesday:
So it can kill you.
Pugsley:
I knew that.
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Gomez:
To live without you, only that would be torture.
Morticia:
A day alone, only that would be death.
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Gomez:
[after he, and Fester enter their secret place] Smell that air, Fester! Like a tomb.
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Gomez:
[as he helps Morticia out of a trap] Leather straps, red-hot pokers!
Morticia:
Later, my dearest.
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[Thing is gesturing wildly]
Gomez:
Mor... Morticia... Morticia? Morticia what? Slow down! It's terrible when you stutter!
[Thing gropes around, finds a pen, and starts to write, but it's out of ink. Groping around again, Thing overturns a bowl of cereal, grabs the spoon, and starts tapping in Morse Code]
Gomez:
Morticia... in... danger... stop. Send... help... at once... STOP!
[Gomez stands and runs out. Thing collapses]
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Margaret:
You are too precious for words, why I could just... eat you alive!
Morticia:
Oh no, Margaret! Too young!
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Dr. Pinderschloss:
Have you tried hard enough? Ask him sweetheart!
Tully Alfford:
No, no, no, Sweetheart. Don't ask!
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Dr. Pinderschloss:
[as Gomez and Morticia are about to kiss each other] KNOCK IT OFF!
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Gomez:
You bewitched me I proposed that very night
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